Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
