party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
