porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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