He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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