If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
