eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize