i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize
