I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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