so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
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