So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
