Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize