I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
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We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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