i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
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