It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
