It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
