It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
