I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
