How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize