We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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