I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I CAN MOONWALK!
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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