Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I enjoy the company of your penis
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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