Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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