then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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