Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
