i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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