he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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