Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
my nose is crying tears of wow.
All I want is dick and wine.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
