There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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