That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
