Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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