Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
