There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
