Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
