True but thats because hes a fetus.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
