just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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