and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
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