tell your sister to shave her snatch
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize