why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
