Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
