I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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