some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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