There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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