you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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