This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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