Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
