yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
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Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
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I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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