all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
