i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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