It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
