Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
