that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Randomize
