May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
