can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
