I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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