i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
