now i know why i became what i already was.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize
