He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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