dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
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I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
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I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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