I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
