she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
She needs sedatives and a leash
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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