I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
