Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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